Among the things I have to work on (besides learning how to become a Real Live Grown-up, or at least a passable imitation of one) are divesting myself of the slew of dreadful habits I have acquired over the years. I have a feeling if I ever found myself talking to an exact replica of myself at a party, I would be gnawing my own arm off to escape the other me. Many of the things that I can glimpse in myself are things that drive me bugging nuts in other people.
For example:
*Mumbling. Good Lord! Speak up and enunciate!
*(Lame) Smart-ass remarks. Sarcasm does not equal wit, and even if it is funny, it may not be appropriate.
*Talking just to talk. Ack! To quote a wise man I knew way back when, "Before you talk, stop. Think. Then think some more. If you still feel the urge to talk, ask yourself,'What would Nick Wren do?' Then don't talk." (OK, I'm totally paraphrasing, but it's been at least four years. He was a lot funnier and twice as effective.)
*Interrupting people. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay bad. (Of course, now I've got that "interrupting cow" knock-knock joke in my head.)
*Swearing. Wash your mouth out!
*Running late. For cry-ai, check your watch!
*Etc. etc. etc.
It is an uphill battle, of course but I am glad to be doing it. IfI can annoy myself, I can't imagine what I must seem like to others. Fortunately, some of my most godawful habits are one that I picked up in recent years from friends and roommates. Swearing, for example, is a newer development. It used to shock and stun people when I swore. I'm not exactly a stevedore, but my language is a little more peppered with profanity than I think is classy. Time to get more inventive.
Anywho, that's my story and I'm sticking to it. I know that I will never be perfect in this life. I imagine that as I shuck old bad habits, I am picking up new ones, but such is the way of life: constant striving. Otherwise, what's the point?
