This evening I put up a lot of my pictures. My walls are less bare and my place is starting to look like my home. I also have been sorting through portfolios of my artwork from school. Much of it has been sitting around in my parents' basement, and some of it is a little damaged. However, as I look at it, I think, "Wow, some of this is really good! Why am I not still doing this all day long?" Then I remember that I am not in school any more.
Is that a good excuse? Probaby not. However, having 8 hours a day (plus prep and travel time) spent at work leaves little time for "everything else", so "everything else" has to be budgeted. So many passions, what to choose? Physical excercise? Learning computer skills? Practicing my music? Socializing? Reading? Art? What kind of art? Painting? Photography? Drawing? Ceramics? Computer graphics?.......I know that there are people who cam cram all of this stuff into their lives. I wanna know how they do it. Becoming independently wealthy is probably not an option for me, so the answer lies in prioritizing and scheduling.
This is why I miss being in school. There were a variety of things going on, and each had its own compartment of time. (Now is music time. Now is photography time. Now is work for the money time. Etc.) Everything had to be completed, executed well, and by a deadline. I could plunge myself into every activity with total abandon and then stop when the time was up. The only time I had to prioritize was outside of classtime, but it seemed easier somehow.
Yes, this is twenty-something, post-graduate whining. Boo-hoo. Poor girl doesn't have time to do everything she wants. *sob* Yeah, I know.
I think the frustration for me is that there are these thing that I am good at and enjoy. Some of them are definately destined to be "mere" hobbies. (I have no illusions of becoming a professional cyclist, percussionist, or reader.) However, some of them have potential to become an actual career, or at the very least, a self-sustaining hobby. In order to move it up to that level, I need to focus and hone my skills. In order to focus and hone, I need to choose somethings and let others slide. I can't bring myself to let anything slide right now. Thus I am jack-of-all-trades, master of none.
And very tired.
