Yes, it's December and gift giving time is upon us. Those of you with wives or girlfriends need to listen up:

What are you getting her? Oh really? A handy-dandy useful piece of technology that you know she needs? Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens? A fabulous clock-radio and a waffle iron?

No. Sorry that was the wrong answer. Yes you may get her those things if she wants and needs them, but expect a funny little smile with the thank you. These are things she could get for herself. These are things she could get from her grandmother or a co-worker. These are things you could get as a "just because" surprise on some random day.

"Gifty" holidays like Christmas, Valentine's Day (that's right around the corner, too), birthdays, and anniversaries require a gift that is more romantic.

So, what are you getting her? Lingerie? A sexy little teddy? A see-through negligee?

No. Sorry, the question was "What are you getting her?" As nice as sexy silken things are, stop and think about who will reap the benefits of that little bit of cloth? Yes, bucko, you are. Don't fool yourself into thinking that it's a present for her, because it is for you. Things like ski trips or cruises, while fun and appreciated, are also something that *you* will be using, too. These are nice things, but get her something for *her* to go with it.

So what should you get? I'm not going to shill for DeBeers here, since I'm not a big fan of diamonds. Also, every woman will have a slightly different idea of what is romantic. However, here are a few good tips:

1. It is for *her* (not you).

2. It is from you. This won't be a gift she could get from just any old somebody.

3. It is not something that she would get herself. (People tend to buy their own bedroom slippers, but not their own funky little doodabs.)

4. It is from the heart and says "I was thinking of you." (Sorry, gift certificates and "I'll take you shopping" are cop outs.)

Keep these four thigs in mind and you'll have a much better chance of not seeing that strained, "Oh, honey" face while she tries to be nice (best case scenario) or tears (worst case scenario). I can guarnatee 100% positive results, because everyone is different, but at least your odds will be better.