To all the dear people in my life who may ever give me presents:

No more duckies, please. Now don't get me wrong. The ones I've gotten are great and I love them all dearly. However it has occured to me that with the four new ones I was bequeathed over Easter, my household has reached its ducky saturation point. Any more and I will start to become one of "those people".

Think of it. First I'll just be a little bit eccentric, the lady with the ducks. Then I'll be profiled in some sort of psychology review, and the children will whisper to each other on Halloween. Finally, I'll end up Collier-style, and old woman crushed to death beneath a mountain of rubber duckies. They'll discover my body when the smell drifts out into the hall....

Or maybe not. But anyway, the fact is that I can totally see this snowballing. I love you all, and I thank you for your thoughtfullness, but unless you are showing up at 3 AM to Kipp my lawn, no more duckies. Okay?